-Ruth Fisher
Friday, December 31, 2010
Tuesday, December 21, 2010
Departure
I'm waiting at the airport.
How many times have we all waited at airports, either in the arrivals area, anxiously scanning the gate for our loved ones, or the departure area in tears from all the goodbyes, or waiting impatiently to board a plane that will take you to your lover whom, of course, lives far far away.
I love airports.
You'll never see so much sadness, pain, exhilaration and pure joy in one place. You'll never feel so connected to strangers, or so hopeful. Or so heartbroken. You'll never wish you could go back in time so badly, or force yourself into an unknown, but certainly happier future. There is, at times, as much grief in airports as there is at funerals, as much pain as in hospitals, as much uncertainty and fear and panic as there is in your own imagination.
Airports are places to transition. They are transformative. Whether we're shopping on ebay during that 3 hour delay, or running from one end of Pearson to the other to make our connection, there is nowhere to be in an airport but the present. A state of limbo, a place of unconditional acceptance. There is nothing to do in an airport but sit and wait with your own thoughts.
Ironically, my love is on his way to the very airport I am in. By the time he arrives, I will be on another plane, always one step ahead of him. I will see him at my final destination, an hour after I arrive, when time becomes fluid and inconsequential, as everything else is.
The airport in 6FU only ever features in the pilot. Yet it is essentially the beginning of several story lines that change several people's lives.
Everything is a near miss, hindsight, a what if or if only. Here I sit, waiting for my lover. Waiting to depart as he touches down.
How many times have we all waited at airports, either in the arrivals area, anxiously scanning the gate for our loved ones, or the departure area in tears from all the goodbyes, or waiting impatiently to board a plane that will take you to your lover whom, of course, lives far far away.
I love airports.
You'll never see so much sadness, pain, exhilaration and pure joy in one place. You'll never feel so connected to strangers, or so hopeful. Or so heartbroken. You'll never wish you could go back in time so badly, or force yourself into an unknown, but certainly happier future. There is, at times, as much grief in airports as there is at funerals, as much pain as in hospitals, as much uncertainty and fear and panic as there is in your own imagination.
Airports are places to transition. They are transformative. Whether we're shopping on ebay during that 3 hour delay, or running from one end of Pearson to the other to make our connection, there is nowhere to be in an airport but the present. A state of limbo, a place of unconditional acceptance. There is nothing to do in an airport but sit and wait with your own thoughts.
Ironically, my love is on his way to the very airport I am in. By the time he arrives, I will be on another plane, always one step ahead of him. I will see him at my final destination, an hour after I arrive, when time becomes fluid and inconsequential, as everything else is.
The airport in 6FU only ever features in the pilot. Yet it is essentially the beginning of several story lines that change several people's lives.
Everything is a near miss, hindsight, a what if or if only. Here I sit, waiting for my lover. Waiting to depart as he touches down.
Sunday, December 12, 2010
Let's Burn It. Let's Burn It All.
I feel antsy a lot.
It's been the reality of this term, being back at school and finding the stress of that incredibly torturous at times. It's the emotional drain and the feelings of insecurity as my confidence level yo-yos dramatically. My partner lives somewhere else and my closest friends have their own shit to deal with. My mum has empty nest syndrome. I have restless leg syndrome.
I am not comfortable in my own skin these days. I have endless wants. I feel irritated and unfulfilled. Time for a change.
It's been the reality of this term, being back at school and finding the stress of that incredibly torturous at times. It's the emotional drain and the feelings of insecurity as my confidence level yo-yos dramatically. My partner lives somewhere else and my closest friends have their own shit to deal with. My mum has empty nest syndrome. I have restless leg syndrome.
I am not comfortable in my own skin these days. I have endless wants. I feel irritated and unfulfilled. Time for a change.
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