Why I Can't Let Anything Go

So, this is my favourite 6FU scene of all time. It seems impossible to pick just one scene from this show, since there are so many that I find poignant and/or hilarious, but this one has always felt like the epitome of what the show is really about. Yes, there is pain. Yes, each of us is walking around bleeding and full of baggage that we often feel we can't get away from. Yes, it is so incredibly frustrating to feel trapped inside a particular emotional response to that pain. It is so very difficult to move forward. But (and here's the kicker), we can. And what if it really is that simple.

(And in case you were wondering, yes, a dear friend did call and sing I'm a lonely Little Petunia...to me on my voice mail. She just gets me.)

I wrote this poem a long time ago:

Why I Can’t Let Anything Go

because of genetics because it’s a family trait because

my parents don’t help by never saying no

because my best friend says she likes me better

this way because I just met you three years ago

and we’ve barely scratched the surface because high school

because pizza and beer is all we need

to get along because life is made up of perfect moments

and spending years recovering from them because my dog

can’t hear me yelling because the best and worst piece

of advice you ever gave me was to do what I love because

I got to keep the tiny blue sweater your daughter wore

because there is a picture of seven of us on a mug

on my desk because my turtle died because my gerbil

died because my dog will die someday soon and when

that happens my family will be torn apart because

it’s never been in my nature to live in the present

because every time I meet someone I spend

the first six months wishing they were

someone else because I left all my furniture and

my fish in someone else’s apartment because maybe

he and I were never meant to mean much of anything

because I may miss you more now then when

you’re gone because the movies I watch make me

believe I’m doing everything all wrong but my favourite

TV shows convince me I’m right because we don’t drive

to see the stars anymore because sometimes I miss

my dish rack and shower curtain because I switched

to a single bed because it’s always over long before

I’m ready because once is never enough

We all have trouble with letting go of our attachments; those to people, places, memories and things. We cling to ideas and emotions and our own bad patterns. We are all afraid of change, even if that change could do us a world of good. We are terrified of the unknown. What I love about this scene is how much hope lies in it. The idea that we have the power to change our situation. We can nurture ourselves and our emotions, but also decide when to let it go. It is all within us. We don't have to look outside of ourselves for everything. There is comfort in that, and in the realization that there is control in letting go of control, and strength in allowing ourselves to stop fighting.

I think this scene beautifully articulates the core message behind the show. Hope.